Americano beauty

I admit instead of doing something more productive with my Saturday night - we stayed in and I watched (and Peds half-did-half didn't) the Miss American Pageant. Miss Michigan won; and let's just say she looked smoking in a bikini, her evening gown and with the vocal practice sang well.

It's not that there was nothing else on TV, because there wasn't; but I watched this to reminisce of my yesteryears. I remember slumber parties of dressing up and casting our votes. This year was yet another disappoint, however; on a much more mature level. When I was 8 I was said that Miss Minnesota/Wisconsin/Illinois did not win. This year I was more disappointed that as hard as the organization tries to do good - they lack the key elements to do so. *It's called brains* And yes, I do not doubt the contestants are all smart and educated women. They are also all size 0 and wearing push-up bras. That is fine. What is not fine is that over 80% of the pageant is based on sheer looks.

The final 10 contestants get 20 seconds to answer a rhetorical questions I swear 6 of the 10 questions either had Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and her lil' sis and Lindsay Lohan. Are these individuals even worth getting more national publicity? Is it necessary to have questions about this? How about our country's political system, health care, repression, unemployment rate (*hello - you're from Michigan and you didn't mention it?), war, pollution... etc. etc. etc. I think these are much more current and, dare I say, important questions.

Should Lil' Spears still have a job on Nik since she's preggie?
How it is that Paris does nothing, but gets so much publicity?
What would you do about binge drinking - like that of L. Lohan?

Come on America. Who gives a shit! Are these really the important issues? The best questions was ... 75% of America don't think the country is heading in the right way - what would you do about this? What the H - E double toothpicks do you say to that? Well the brainster starting talking about rolemodels and then proceeded to waste her remaining 15 secs gabbering on about the infamous names of above (of the Spears, Lohan and Paris variety). **ARRRGG!!!

Frustrating - very frustrating. But, alas, there is mainstream media for ya'll.

Put a pretty face, not to mention skinny, in front of the young audience that is watching the program. (And us closet watchers who had nothing better to do - I know you're out there too!). And what do they see? Young women prancing around in bikinis, revealing and highly impractical evening gowns and singing. The perfect ingredients for a true role model.

Where is my barf bag anyway?

All right, so I am resentful. I always wanted to be in the pageant business. I had my shiny moment once at the 'Sconie State Fair. As I was the summer intern and helping out the chef - we had a guest appearance from Miss Wisconsin. Well, when they announced her name - I oblivious to the announcement, walked out on stage to deliver some things for the chef. Everyone clapped, as I stood there is a baseball cap and over-sized apron. I think the crowd quickly realized that I was not Miss Wisconsin, just the summer intern. Not made-up enough to be the real things. And sure enough, the "real one" walked out moments after this wearing her little skirt and heels. So close... so close.

And the newspaper says..." Usually tame by modern TV standards, the swimwear competition kicked it up a notch. Most contestants wore black bikinis, and some struck provocative poses and twirled as the audience howled."

Enough said. I digress...